Goal Setting Structure

Your Goals Should Let You Have Some Wild Adventures! ~ Jaxi :)

If someone came up to me and said:

“I want to be a NYTimes best selling author. I will pay you whatever you want to coach me through this process and to achieve this”

I’d turn them down instantly.

Then, I’d tell them something more beneficial to them in life and in their pursuit of success.

And I’d tell them this for free – vs any other coach that would probably take a wad of this dude’s cash and just do what this person wanted.

The Tip I’d Tell This Person 

Check your goals!

Someone with this specific goal in mind coupled with the endless amounts of money they would pay to get it says 2 things to me:

1. His goal is status related and superficial (& extremely costly)

2. His goal screams desperation for

-attention

-success

-to be able to say they were a NYTimes Best Selling Author (NYTimesBSA)

-a true passion for something

Goals that are purely superficial will never buy this person the happiness and the fulfillment they are truly seeking.

They are focused on a symbol, a society ranking status.

They are not focused on helping anyone but themselves get to a very high level.

I Can Almost Guarantee You 2 Outcomes Of This Goal:

1. If he got on the NYTBSA List – he’d still be lost/unhappy/unfulfilled. So, he’d be moving onto the next materialistic or status symbol for a new goal

2. If I told this person he could write a book, but it would NEVER get on the NYTimes Best Selling Author list, however within his target market, it would be RAVED about and he would make millions from all the books he sold because people got value from it, this would not be good enough for him.

He would feel like a failure and might even resent the millions. This is so extreme sometimes, it leads to suicides that people are miffed over.  Fixation on one goal to such an extreme  – however aspiring – is not healthy. Especially when it is a superficial goal.

Either Of These Outcomes Would Occur Because Of The Following Reasons: 

1. He was never in it for the purpose of offering value to others

2. He was in it for the purpose of fulfilling some other need in him that has nothing to do with being a BSA on the NYTimes book review. It probably has nothing to do with even being an author at all.

Desperate people are lacking in many ways. And they will grasp onto anything bigger then themselves – almost unreachable at times – to not address the root causes of that desperation or even acknowledge it exists in them at all.  Instead they keep seeking out ways to numb it and elate themselves temporarily.

Superficial is all around us and is readily available and accessible. So it’s common for superficial to be one of the first thing someone latches on to feel good.

Superficial is sometimes a vice to not think about the yuk, or the desperation, or them lacking personally in a certain area in some way. (Similiar to an alcoholic or drug addict) Superficial usually makes people feel good or feel important.

Pay Attention

This person might not appear to you (at first) as desperate – when they set such a high benchmark goal.

Getting on the NYTBSA List isn’t easy. Most would think this guy is a high achiever or something or constantly pushing the challenge level. Some would even look up to him.

But sometimes you need to look past what people say and find the reasons behind it.

Common Mistakes 

You can’t fill your voids with status. You can’t fill your voids with superficial goals.

Your goals can’t save you in terms of ‘making up’ for another area in you that is strong and lacking.

Check that your goals aren’t desperate.

Check that your goals aren’t a status symbol or materialistic related.

Internally Fueled Challenging Goals

Check that your goals are strong to advance you, challenge you, and allow you to reach higher levels yourself – yes, absolutely! You should always be raising your standards and seeking higher levels of excellence.

But check that your goals are fueled by passion. Not zero substance.

The right goals will come from you when they have passion in them.

3 Benefits of These Types of Goals
1. You will usually be able to achieve your goals quite easily – and with little or no money :) GRIN  – because it is something natural within you. They aren’t derived from something society dictates is big or important. Passion starts from within. Your passion is your fuel.

2. The process of pursuing the goal is more enjoyable and the results of achieving them will be much more satisfying. Because the goal won’t be all about you. Your goal, if it is fueled with passion and comes from within your own wants, will end up positively impacting at least one other person’s life, if not many lives.

3. A goal created this way will most likely will elevate you to a higher status level within society or your target market without you even trying, anyway. :) So you end up achieving something probably something greater than what you used as society’s dictated measurement.

Test My Theory

Don’t believe me?

Consider this:

If this same man found out the day he got on the NYTBSA list that the list was always a corrupt list – just meant to line some select few pockets – in other words, it was phony all these years/ ‘wasn’t all that’ – I’d bet you bucks he would never have put that as a goal. He would have chosen something else viewed in society as ‘success’ or ‘the highest level’.

I could be wrong – but I don’t think I am. This possibility is absolutely possible.

“uGoals” (my nickname to help you remember ) :)

Your goals should support what YOU define as success. Not what society has decided top-of-the-top is or what success is.

Success is internal first. It is defined by you internally and it makes you feel better than any amount of money or status could.

Yes, it is also tangible, but the relevancy in achieving success is much more internal.

Suggestion
Check your goals before this month is over and tweak any goals that you need to.

Reflect inward a bit and address any underlying issues or areas within yourself you need to, instead of compensating in other ways -ways that are often superficial. We tend to act desperately when we try to compensate. Not always, but it does happen.

Don’t make your goals from desperation. Create your goals from internal passion!

Don’t make your goals superficial. Make internally fueled goals.

Don’t define your goals by what others deem as important or the best. Define your goals by what you truly want.

Define your goals by what you know to be the most important or the best for you.

Try this. You might surprise yourself and come up with some really outstanding valuable goals!

You might transform your goals from ordinary to remarkable for a more spectacular year than you ever thought was possible!

Would love to know your thoughts on this, so leave your comments below or on my FB page. Also feel free to share any goals you have newly created with this new frame of mind. Or provide a before and after list so others can get some ideas. Head over to my FB page and post there if you want: http://facebook.com/jaxiusa

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You May Not Like Him, But He Is A Leader

by jaxi on January 15, 2012

You don’t have to be into politics or even be in his party to recognize the leadership Newt Gingrich displays in his campaign strategy.

Newt Gingrich announcing in May his decision to run for 2012 President of the U.S.

Newt Gingrich announces his run for President 2012

 

He did completely opposite what every campaigner has always done, and to this day, was still doing in their 2011-2012 presidential campaign strategy.

He removed himself from the status quo of Washington ways and he carved a different path for himself.

He chose to run his campaign on positiveness.

He focused on what he offered as positive and didn’t spend his time focusing on the negative of his competition.

By doing this, he also elevated himself above the other candidates.

He didn’t get involved in the petty back and forth negative attacks that occur often in campaigns amongst the candidates. He didn’t spend his precious time defending himself. He just moved forward with his positive message.

I give him 100% credit for this and stand behind him in this strategy

We are all begging for change in Washington. We are all begging for the existing infrastructure to be shattered and rebuilt on a more positive and productive foundation.

And Newt was the only one to recognize this. Recognize the crucial timing and importance of being positive. Gingrich was the only one with the balls to implement this instantly.

Gingrich didn’t bother to tell you he’d ‘change Washington to be more positive’. He understood you have heard that so many times, only to see no change at all. So he just showed you instead. He exemplified a taste of what D.C. could really be about.

Newt showed you the type of person he was. Showed you the character of the man you would be possibly electing President.

Newt exemplified the hope leaders often need to instill in society when methods/strategies are intensely & corruptly entrenched.

Newt showed you the difference one man can make, a man who wants to change Washington as badly as you want it to change.

Even moreso, Gingrich gave you the change even before you possibly elected him!

Newt knew this positive message was more important than his winning the election. With 10 years of nothing but negative and things getting worse, he new this was crucial.

He also knew this might not work. It was an absolute gamble. He expected the backlash and the critics. But he stuck to his guns on this and he never waivered, not once – despite the intense pressure and negative adds against him. He instinctively knew this was the right way to do this. It was the only way comfortable for him. That is why he got rid of his 1st staff, who had traditional plans for him.

He broke the mold by campaigning differently. He made history just by doing this.

Actions speak louder than words – and no place more so than in D.C. politics.

Newt showed others you can be positive focused and run a successful presidential campaign in the USA and still do very well.

He gave you the glimpse of hope and he gave you a taste of what D.C. could really be about.

He showed you it’s in reachable distance. It’s not just rhetoric, it can happen and he was making it happen.

Gingrich came from the bottom and soared to the top. And he was soaring for a while. All this from a positive focused campaign. I’d say great strides were absolutely achieved already!

Yes, he has taken a hit. But even when the hit came and has now stayed for a bit, he has refused to change his positive strategy.

Gingrich did what all leaders do. He didn’t let others dictate his choices.

Newt didn’t give into the pressure.  He stuck to his values, his ethics, his core beliefs and his vision of what his campaign was going to be about and the principles he wanted to run it off of. He believed wholeheartedly in what he was doing and wholeheartedly in a positive D.C. and he wasn’t giving up on either.

He showed us that despite what society tells you or the majority consistently insists you do,  you don’t have to do what they say.

You can still get ahead – and succeed -  by doing things your own way. By distinguishing yourself from everyone else. By leading from a different place and a different frame of mind.

In this case, I would say it was absolutely the right way. I will side with most anything positive and I thought it took courage and boldness for Newt to campaign this way. It was incredibly refreshing!

Other future campaigners could learn a lot from this.

In the meantime, you could learn a from Gingrich’s leadership. (The bullet list is below to sum it up. )

You just have to have the boldness for it, the fueled vision, and the conviction and discipline not to sway when the pressure gets high.

This is what a true leader does. And Newt Gingrich exemplifies leadership spectacularly.

18 Leadership Lessons from Gingrich Presidential Campaign

  • Leaders remove themselves from the status quo and they do things differently.
  • Leaders carve a different path for themselves, even when they know before they start on their journey, it will not be easy to stay on that path.
  • Leaders don’t pay attention to the naysayers, they just stay focused on themselves and what they want to accomplish. They know plenty of naysayers and challengers will come, and they are prepared with the fundamentals: their belief in themselves and what they are setting out to do.
  • Leaders refuse to give up on their idea or themself. They know others are desperate for what they are pursuing.
  • Leaders never follow, they always make their own way and encourage others to join them.
  • Leaders break the mold. Their intense desire and drive for change makes that happen.
  • Leaders don’t just talk. They act. They are (or become) the change they want to see.
  • Leaders never wait for ‘the perfect timing’. They just immediately dive in and show by their actions what they 100% believe in. And they trust in that.
  • Leaders don’t give into peer pressure or society pressure. They never let others dictate their choices. They refuse all entrenched ways.
  • Leaders expose, they don’t join in.
  • Leaders champion transparency.
  • Leaders create new or improve. This can only be done through positiveness. Nothing great was ever produced from negativism. No real change came through negativity. Something negative could have sparked the leader’s idea – but a leader is always positive minded and leads with a positive focus, positive energy, and a positive message.
  • Leaders break rules – usually more than one along their pursuit – because it’s necessary to change the rules if you want real change.
  • Leaders recognize for any real change to occur, ideas need to be tested and traditional norms need to be shattered.
  • Leaders don’t get in the practice of leading to go backward. Leaders lead to go forward. You can’t combine the old with the new, you will never achieve the truest results or impact that you could.
  • Leaders know their mission is bigger than themselves. They have no ego behind the mission. It is purely for absolute change or betterment.
  • Leaders recognize they might have to step aside for that mission or goal to be achieved.
  • Leaders recognize that what they are attempting to accomplish or champion is a gamble -but it is worth it – because their ideal/their mission is more important than personally achieving something out of it themselves materialistically or professionally or financially.

 

ps: I am not personally supporting Gingrich in the 2012 election, but as an entrepreneur and someone who helps develop leaders, I can professionally recognize someone’s strengths and display them to the world, even if I disagree with them.

 

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